The Vice Principal should be talking to the parents of this child personally, not the brother. A letter to the Principal addressing this issue should make her aware that the way she handled this is not acceptable. I think a meeting with the Principal and Vice Principal would put to rest the question "IS there something going on in the home". With our world today the Vice Principal may have had good intentions, but not appropriate ones.
I don't know what "rights" there are regarding this but I would definitely write a letter and tell them they don't appreciate this kind of behavior. Loki is right, even if the VP's intentions were good, it was not appropriate and he needs to know this!
The school asked me if they could bring my 9yr old to Mason in times when he was upset thinking it might calm him and I said no, because I don't think it's right that Logan be pulled from the class and have that kind of responsibility put on him, especially at school. If need be they need to contact me. I agreed that if Mason needs a walking break and they want to walk by the room and let Mason see Logan and say hi, that's fine, but I don't want Logan to feel like he needs to be the one to stop Mason from crying or being upset. This school shouldn't have asked the older brother about any of his younger brother's behaviors...it's not his responsibility to deal with those things...even if it was just a simple question.
I know this is not related to Autism but I have a relative who recently was told by the school nurse of suspensions that her son may have tourette's syndrome after observations by his teachers which were brought to the attention of the nurse and the nurse suggested that it was possible it may be tourette's syndrome to his mother. He has not been formally tested and this occurred only two days ago. Today the Vice Principal approached his older brother(by the way, the mother was not ready to let her other kids know what was going on until they knew for sure) and said "Hey ****, why does your brother make those animal noises?"
Why are they quizzing a 14 year old? Putting him on the spot is not cool...I think I would show up at the school and ask just what exactly she wanted to know- since I would be an adult I could decide and judge what to say and how to say it. There is a confidentiality even between siblings. Could the 14 year old go into the brother's doctor and ask for records? No...confidentiality...same deal applies for disabilities. No one is allowed to know what my son's specific disability is UNLESS it is crucial for them to teach him or I give permission. Plain and simple. CREEPY. This definitely sounds unethical and jes plain RUDE. I would be looking into attys writing a letter to her, if nothing else ...